The Mask

Technology has brought us many advancements that today, we think we can't live without; cellphones, microwaves, computers to name a few. Of the advancements of the last few years, Social Media seems to rank right up near the top when it comes to popularity. Shit, every one of us has spent countless hours on Black Planet, CollegeClub(remember THAT shit??!), Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, sharing pics,laughs and ignorant shit with people we knew( and even hardly knew. Sidebar: How many of you ever tried to hook up with a chick/dude from a site, only to discover the trifling muhfucka used SOMEBODY else's pic??!....but I digress)

All good things usually come with its drawbacks, and social media is definitely not an exception! Yeah, you have your cyber-bullies and internet gangstas running rampant--but FUCK THEM; they aren't the real problem. What's the real problem with social media? It's the millions who are online re-inventing themselves, rocking what I like to call their "cyber-mask".



Common Cyber-Mask

The "Resolutionist": This mask is the saddest of all the cyber-masks being worn lately. We all saw early warning signs of these muhfuckas back in high school. These were the classmates who attempted to join every sports, club, or team the school had to offer, only to quit 2 weeks later. Today they can be found on Facebook or Twitter (and yes some of these idiots still use Myspace) as Christians this week, Muslims a month later, and by next year I swear they'll be Buddhists. These confused souls can regularly be found asking God (or their Savior of the Hour) to help them find a man, and in the same breath, say they don't need a man in their life to be happy ( Huh bitch?!!? Now I'm confused).


The Re-Born Holy-Roller: No one is knocking your faith in a higher power, but sistah, if you spent more time in high school with a dick in ya hand than a pencil/pen, then playing the roll of born-again Christian on Facebook makes the daily sermons a lil difficult to take....I'm Just sayin.

The Social Butterfly: So let me get this straight....you have a baby that's being raised by your momma. You still live at home where you don't pay any rent. But you spend all your damn time on Twitter trying to find out where the party at?! Here's a bit of advice: if your most prized possession is the 18's you still renting for your Honda Accord, its probably time to retire as Club Queen and

come up with a new game plan.


The Cyber-Goon: " These fuck-niggas out here don't know how we do it in the streets son!". " We on heavy oil[that's liquor for you non-goons], all day over 'chea !". Those on some common epitaphs written on the pages of some of the serial goons in your life. Listen, its 2011, not 1995. Unless John Singleton HIMSELF called you and told you he was remaking Boyz N Da Hood, then let the shit go! O-Dogg is not walking thru that door! Kane, Doughboy, Gunna-man, or Ricky sure as HELL aint walkin thru that door. And contrary to reports on WorldStarHipHop, Pac is not C-Walkin thru that door!




and finally....

The Dramatist : A dramatists is one who writes plays or dramatic literature and in the social media world, there are plays being written every damn day! We all know the female who despite all of her gallant attempts( at least in her mind) cannot seem to avoid drama! Although she admits to fuckin Raheem, she never meant to hurt you Shaneeka, I swear!Or how about, " yeah yeah, my lights might be turned off and rent late, but BITCH I take care of my kids!!". The funniest shit to me is they start off every post with, " You know I hate drama but...." or "These bitches hatin on me cuz I'm CUTE!"...ok, here's a newsflash: your house IS pissy. YOur kids ARE ill-kept. And honestly bitch, you AREN'T that cute! Spend more time raising your kids and less time trying to give live updates like you running a Sports News ticker...I'm just saying.