Signs it May be Time to Leave the Party...

Birthday celebrations, for me, always bring with it a sense of anticipation. Whether its my birthday, a close family member, or a friend, I usually spend the week building up excitement for the weekend bash. To me, there is no better feeling than sharing good food and camraderie with people you love and respect....

Ok, who the fuck am I kidding?!While I do enjoy the food,friends and blah blah blah, what I most look forward to are the memorable REAL NIGGA moments which tend to occur quite regularly whenever liquor, heat, and women are mixed into a confined space.

Some of you new readers may be asking yourself, what exactly is a real nigga moment? Webster's defines (well, not really, but just follow me on this one) a real nigga moment as an event or act which takes place that, under normal circumstances, would be difficult to accept as reality, but because niggas are involved, it enters the realm of being possible and becoming an embarassing situation.

Examples are: a fat bitch wearing jeggings and thinking she hot;

purple/blonde/green wigs on black people (Black Barbie MY ASS!),

and getting into a fight at a party/wedding/or "Big Mama" funeral.

If you're like me, you have a friend(s) who just can't seem to get right and spends all their waking moments having real nigga moments. Today's blog is designed to help you spot the early signs that trouble is on the horizon and it may be time for said friend to " Leave the Party"......


#5: If the room goes from Crunk to dead the minute you walk into the party, chances are its time to leave. This one is pretty common but you'll be surprised at how many people miss out on this one. If you can hear a cell phone vibrating across the room as you say hello to everyone, things are off to a shitty start dawg.

#4: Family Members Are Off Limits! This shouldn't have to be said but you see, some dudes just don't understand the unwritten Man Law handbook. If the party is full of available women and you spend all night secretly trying to "stalk" the host's sister??! Well you immediately go from hapless homeboy to fuck nigga. Sorry those are the rules....YES NIGGA, WE SAW YOU!

#3: Know When to Say When. There are quiet drunks. There are funny or silly-acting drunks. There are falldown, sloppy drunks. Then there are the angry, "bitch-when-we-get-home-Imma-fuck-you-up-for-talking-to-that-dude-but-I-really-do-love-you!" drunks. Fellas, know your limitations. Nothing says jail time more than issuing an unwarranted ass whoopin on your baby moms because you decided it was o.k. to mix light and dark liquor.

#2: Jezebel's Need Not Apply.Ladies, you didn't think this was just gonna be about the fellas, right? Some of ya'll can be trifling too. For example: You're Married? Check. You brought your husband to the party? Check. Now, having said all this, you can't spend the entire night trying to fuck other guests at the party while your dumbfounded husband turns a blind eye. And no bitch, it wasn't the liquor talking !

#1: Possession is 9/10 of the Law. Fellas what's the worst thing you can do to another man? Ok, besides fucking his women, what's the worse thing? That's right--stealing from him! Yeah, I know women aren't actually possessions, but shiiitttt, you try telling that to a man whose had 5 shots of Patron! The minute you go from subtle flirting to putting your hands on someone else's woman,well--shit JUST got real ! I would suggest heading home, before you end up like this guy--