Resolutionists: Gotta Hate Em....

.....At the gym, they have been running amuck,searching for training tips and advice...at school, they are your newfound(or at least it SEEMS that way) classmates who claim they are on a mission for straight A's...at church, they are the reformed Supa-Heads and Try-sexuals (hoe will try anything !)signing up to join the Usher board and choir, cuz at "Watchnight Service" they took the Altar Call...at work, at the gym, hell, even at the club( "I promise yall, I aint going home with him unless he buy me 2, COUNT 'Em 2, Top-shelf dranks!!")one cannot escape the annual run of the RESOLUTIONISTS!

Before I give you my TOP 4 Resolutionist List, we first must DEFINE RESOLUTIONIST. Websters' describes a Resolutionist as( no, Webster doesn't. But this is the damn definition anyway so pay attention...) : a person, who foolishly attempts to make drastic changes come January 1st of any given year, only to fail miserably and give up 30-60 days later....know anyone who fits that description??? LMAO, look I'm not saying its NOT good to set goals for one-self, but does saying you are going to stop drinking and swearing HAVE to start on NEW YEAR's DAY??! Be realistic in your goals and you may just actually attain some of em. A good friend(hear is your shot-out Young Foreman) said it best: There is no reset button on our life. You can't just wake-up one morning and hope to wash away all the foul shit you have been doing for the past 365 days...

TOP 4 WORST NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONISTS

4.The Reformed Hoe--Look, I'm all for turning your life around and trying to walk the enlightened path, but if you keep a dick in your mouth,more than you do a stick a gum---then let's be realistic. You aint changing. These are just the facts people...

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3.The Ever-optimistic Baby Moms---- this is a sad one indeed. Look, Ray-Ray, is almost 10. You haven't received your support check since he was NEVER. You and Ray Sr aint been seen together outside of your bedroom since 2000....sigh...say it with me: NO, you aren't gonna magically start receiving those payments. NO, Ray Sr doesnt love you, he just said that because you started talkin about putting him on papers again. And Finally, NO, telling him Ray-Ray would love for nothing more than to see his parents together is not gonna work this time--in fact, it didn't work in 2002, 2004, or 2007 when you tried it previously....sigh....SMDH...




2. The Hardly-working Co-Worker---this one pisses me off the most. This is the co-worker who hardly does shit to begin with, who because its January 1st, decides they are gonna work extra hard at annoying you by-you guessed it- complaining about ALL the work they do and demanding better pay/benefits. There is at least one in every office.



....and finally, my #1 New Year's Resolutionist is:

1. The New Gym Rat---this is the person who decides because they USED to be fit or in shape 20 years ago, they decided they were gonna join the gym and magically get back into shape. These are the folks you wanna drop the barbell on when they ask for a squat or the ones who have all the fitness equipment tied up at your usual workout time. Im all for working it out, but drinking a diet pepsi and reading the new Essence mag while walking 2 mph on the treadmill does not constitute a workout plan...of course, there are also idiot ass trainers walking around like this...