The Mask

Technology has brought us many advancements that today, we think we can't live without; cellphones, microwaves, computers to name a few. Of the advancements of the last few years, Social Media seems to rank right up near the top when it comes to popularity. Shit, every one of us has spent countless hours on Black Planet, CollegeClub(remember THAT shit??!), Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, sharing pics,laughs and ignorant shit with people we knew( and even hardly knew. Sidebar: How many of you ever tried to hook up with a chick/dude from a site, only to discover the trifling muhfucka used SOMEBODY else's pic??!....but I digress)

All good things usually come with its drawbacks, and social media is definitely not an exception! Yeah, you have your cyber-bullies and internet gangstas running rampant--but FUCK THEM; they aren't the real problem. What's the real problem with social media? It's the millions who are online re-inventing themselves, rocking what I like to call their "cyber-mask".



Common Cyber-Mask

The "Resolutionist": This mask is the saddest of all the cyber-masks being worn lately. We all saw early warning signs of these muhfuckas back in high school. These were the classmates who attempted to join every sports, club, or team the school had to offer, only to quit 2 weeks later. Today they can be found on Facebook or Twitter (and yes some of these idiots still use Myspace) as Christians this week, Muslims a month later, and by next year I swear they'll be Buddhists. These confused souls can regularly be found asking God (or their Savior of the Hour) to help them find a man, and in the same breath, say they don't need a man in their life to be happy ( Huh bitch?!!? Now I'm confused).


The Re-Born Holy-Roller: No one is knocking your faith in a higher power, but sistah, if you spent more time in high school with a dick in ya hand than a pencil/pen, then playing the roll of born-again Christian on Facebook makes the daily sermons a lil difficult to take....I'm Just sayin.

The Social Butterfly: So let me get this straight....you have a baby that's being raised by your momma. You still live at home where you don't pay any rent. But you spend all your damn time on Twitter trying to find out where the party at?! Here's a bit of advice: if your most prized possession is the 18's you still renting for your Honda Accord, its probably time to retire as Club Queen and

come up with a new game plan.


The Cyber-Goon: " These fuck-niggas out here don't know how we do it in the streets son!". " We on heavy oil[that's liquor for you non-goons], all day over 'chea !". Those on some common epitaphs written on the pages of some of the serial goons in your life. Listen, its 2011, not 1995. Unless John Singleton HIMSELF called you and told you he was remaking Boyz N Da Hood, then let the shit go! O-Dogg is not walking thru that door! Kane, Doughboy, Gunna-man, or Ricky sure as HELL aint walkin thru that door. And contrary to reports on WorldStarHipHop, Pac is not C-Walkin thru that door!




and finally....

The Dramatist : A dramatists is one who writes plays or dramatic literature and in the social media world, there are plays being written every damn day! We all know the female who despite all of her gallant attempts( at least in her mind) cannot seem to avoid drama! Although she admits to fuckin Raheem, she never meant to hurt you Shaneeka, I swear!Or how about, " yeah yeah, my lights might be turned off and rent late, but BITCH I take care of my kids!!". The funniest shit to me is they start off every post with, " You know I hate drama but...." or "These bitches hatin on me cuz I'm CUTE!"...ok, here's a newsflash: your house IS pissy. YOur kids ARE ill-kept. And honestly bitch, you AREN'T that cute! Spend more time raising your kids and less time trying to give live updates like you running a Sports News ticker...I'm just saying.

Signs it May be Time to Leave the Party...

Birthday celebrations, for me, always bring with it a sense of anticipation. Whether its my birthday, a close family member, or a friend, I usually spend the week building up excitement for the weekend bash. To me, there is no better feeling than sharing good food and camraderie with people you love and respect....

Ok, who the fuck am I kidding?!While I do enjoy the food,friends and blah blah blah, what I most look forward to are the memorable REAL NIGGA moments which tend to occur quite regularly whenever liquor, heat, and women are mixed into a confined space.

Some of you new readers may be asking yourself, what exactly is a real nigga moment? Webster's defines (well, not really, but just follow me on this one) a real nigga moment as an event or act which takes place that, under normal circumstances, would be difficult to accept as reality, but because niggas are involved, it enters the realm of being possible and becoming an embarassing situation.

Examples are: a fat bitch wearing jeggings and thinking she hot;

purple/blonde/green wigs on black people (Black Barbie MY ASS!),

and getting into a fight at a party/wedding/or "Big Mama" funeral.

If you're like me, you have a friend(s) who just can't seem to get right and spends all their waking moments having real nigga moments. Today's blog is designed to help you spot the early signs that trouble is on the horizon and it may be time for said friend to " Leave the Party"......


#5: If the room goes from Crunk to dead the minute you walk into the party, chances are its time to leave. This one is pretty common but you'll be surprised at how many people miss out on this one. If you can hear a cell phone vibrating across the room as you say hello to everyone, things are off to a shitty start dawg.

#4: Family Members Are Off Limits! This shouldn't have to be said but you see, some dudes just don't understand the unwritten Man Law handbook. If the party is full of available women and you spend all night secretly trying to "stalk" the host's sister??! Well you immediately go from hapless homeboy to fuck nigga. Sorry those are the rules....YES NIGGA, WE SAW YOU!

#3: Know When to Say When. There are quiet drunks. There are funny or silly-acting drunks. There are falldown, sloppy drunks. Then there are the angry, "bitch-when-we-get-home-Imma-fuck-you-up-for-talking-to-that-dude-but-I-really-do-love-you!" drunks. Fellas, know your limitations. Nothing says jail time more than issuing an unwarranted ass whoopin on your baby moms because you decided it was o.k. to mix light and dark liquor.

#2: Jezebel's Need Not Apply.Ladies, you didn't think this was just gonna be about the fellas, right? Some of ya'll can be trifling too. For example: You're Married? Check. You brought your husband to the party? Check. Now, having said all this, you can't spend the entire night trying to fuck other guests at the party while your dumbfounded husband turns a blind eye. And no bitch, it wasn't the liquor talking !

#1: Possession is 9/10 of the Law. Fellas what's the worst thing you can do to another man? Ok, besides fucking his women, what's the worse thing? That's right--stealing from him! Yeah, I know women aren't actually possessions, but shiiitttt, you try telling that to a man whose had 5 shots of Patron! The minute you go from subtle flirting to putting your hands on someone else's woman,well--shit JUST got real ! I would suggest heading home, before you end up like this guy--

You Are What you Eat....

There are a shitload of things that black people do in spite of themselves. We refuse to firebomb Viacom(Mtv and BET) headquarters. We smoke menthol cigarettes and insist on frying and/or putting salt on damn near everything. We allow our eyes to be assaulted by artist like Souljah Boy, Nicki Minaj and some asshole called Wocka Flacka Flame(who?!). But perhaps no self-spiteful practice among black people is more bewildering than the fact that we cling desperately to Slave Food.



Figure 1: “Chittlins? Fuck. Nah, I don’t want no more.”

We all know what slave food is – it’s food made from that parts of the animal that make even native Chinese people say “dude, that’s fucking sick”.* It’s the shit our slave ancestors were forced to eat because all they’d be given after their ‘masters’ got done raping, eating, kissing on the mouth, and doing whatever else it is to animals that white people just love to do.

I can’t believe that today, despite all the social, cultural, and economic strides black people have made over the years, so many of us still insist on eating that grimey shit. I’m pretty sure that 50% of the reason MLK ever marched anywhere is so his children wouldn’t have to eat pig intestines ever again. Anyone caught eating this crap is willfully desecrating the memory of the following:

Martin Luther King and Malcolm X
Nat Turner
Each and every Union casualty from the Civil War
Jesus
Your grandmother

Let’s take a moment to examine some of the more common types of slave food, shall we?

Name: Chittlins
Description: Cleaned and boiled pig intestines
Stank Rating: 10/10
Summary:

The first argument you’ll get into with black people about this is the proper way to spell it. Some use ‘chittlings’, ‘chittluns’, ‘chittlins’, or for the conflicted and self-hating bougie negro – ‘chitterlings’. No matter how you spell it, there’s no denying what they actually are: swine shit tubes. Nothing is worse than the smell of these fucking things when they’re being cleaned and cooked. If you want to know what the inside of your own asshole smells like, just mozy yourself down to any country kitchen in Mississippi and inhale! The fact that anyone can get past the smell of these things to not only touch them, but TASTE THEM, is proof positive that the Force exists(STAR WARS), and human beings can use it.

Name: Hog Maws
Description: Cleaned and boiled pig stomach
Stank Rating: 6/10
Summary:



Apparently eating a pig’s shit tube isn’t nasty enough in and of itself. To remedy this, we decided to also throw in the stomach because…fuck it!-- that’s why. Hog maws cooked alone actually doesn’t stink too much since there’s a relative absence of…you know…pig shit. The problem is that the popular thing to do is cook hog maws right alongside chittlins in the most oddly paradoxical culinary endeavor imaginable. By eating this stuff you’re basically digesting another digestive system. Logically speaking, this is insanely confusing – kinda like the ‘tree falling in the forest’ or ‘one hand clapping’ riddles. My fucking head already hurts just thinking about it.

Name: Pig Feet
Description: Take a wild guess
Stank Rating: 9/10
Summary:



This is the only post I’ve written where I’ve struggled not to vomit

Feet and I do not get along in general. I cringe whenever I see people will bare feet on coffee tables, kitchen tables, sticking out a car window (I’m looking at you, white folks) or, God forbid, anywhere near my face. Feet are the nastiest part of the whole entire human body, including the asshole. So you can only imagine my thoughts about EATING the f-f-f-f-feet of the most vile and disgusting animal ever to walk the face of the planet. Pig feet can be boiled, fried, or even baked, each method producing a respectively larger and more permanent stench in whatever unfortunate venue you happen to be doing the cooking. There are also people who eat pickled pig feet. The thought of this is so fucking nasty I’m just going to move on.

What are your most hated Slave foods?



Thanks Wendell for giving me the idea on this one,lol

Where were these Idiots when Bush Bin Laden was in Power?!

WTF?! The white "illiterati" (that's latin for dumb-fuck) came out to Capitol Hill yesterday to flex their ignorance against the proposed health care bill, and for good measure, Blacks in Congress...

Abusive, derogatory and even racist behavior directed at House Democrats by Tea Party protesters on Saturday left several lawmakers in shock.

Preceding the president's speech to a gathering of House Democrats, thousands of protesters descended around the Capitol to protest the passage of health care reform. The gathering quickly turned into abusive heckling, as members of Congress passing through Longworth House office building were subjected to epithets and even mild physical abuse.

A staffer for Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) told reporters that Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) had been spat on by a protestor. Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), a hero of the civil rights movement, was called a 'ni--er.' And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called a "faggot," as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams. Frank, approached in the halls after the president's speech, shrugged off the incident.

But Clyburn was downright incredulous, saying he had not witnessed such treatment since he was leading civil rights protests in South Carolina in the 1960s.

"It was absolutely shocking to me," Clyburn said, in response to a question from the Huffington Post. "Last Monday, this past Monday, I stayed home to meet on the campus of Claflin University where fifty years ago as of last Monday... I led the first demonstrations in South Carolina, the sit ins... And quite frankly I heard some things today I have not heard since that day. I heard people saying things that I have not heard since March 15, 1960 when I was marching to try and get off the back of the bus."

"It doesn't make me nervous as all," the congressman said, when asked how the mob-like atmosphere made him feel. "In fact, as I said to one heckler, I am the hardest person in the world to intimidate, so they better go somewhere else."

Asked if he wanted an apology from the group of Republican lawmakers who had addressed the crowd and, in many ways, played on their worst fears of health care legislation, the Democratic Party, and the president, Clyburn replied:

"A lot of us have been saying for a long time that much of this, much of this is not about health care a all. And I think a lot of those people today demonstrated that this is not about health care... it is about trying to extend a basic fundamental right to people who are less powerful."

UPDATE 6:55 PM ET: Rep. Emanuel Cleaver's office released the following statement:

For many of the members of the CBC, like John Lewis and Emanuel Cleaver who worked in the civil rights movement, and for Mr. Frank who has struggled in the cause of equality, this is not the first time they have been spit on during turbulent times.

This afternoon, the Congressman was walking into the Capitol to vote, when one protester spat on him. The Congressman would like to thank the US Capitol Police officer who quickly escorted the others Members and him into the Capitol, and defused the tense situation with professionalism and care. After all the Members were safe, a full report was taken and the matter was handled by the US Capitol Police. The man who spat on the Congressman was arrested, but the Congressman has chosen not to press charges. He has left the matter with the Capitol Police.

This is not the first time the Congressman has been called the "n" word and certainly not the worst assault he has endured in his years fighting for equal rights for all Americans. That being said, he is disappointed that in the 21st century our national discourse has devolved to the point of name calling and spitting. He looks forward to taking a historic vote on health care reform legislation tomorrow, for the residents of the Fifth District of Missouri and for all Americans. He believes deeply that tomorrow's vote is, in fact, a vote for equality and to secure health care as a right for all. Our nation has a history of struggling each time we expand rights. Today's protests are no different, but the Congressman believes this is worth fighting for.

What you know about REAL Music ??!

This one has been bothering me for quite some time. But after listening to the local R&B Station attempt an ill-fated "mash-up" of Dr. King's I Have a Dream Speech and Crime Mob's Nuck if you Buck, this issue has to be addressed! I understand the kids of this generation really don't know our past and history, yet alone real MUSIC.Its not there fault- I blame the shit on BET. Still, I hope I never have to hear that bullshit again( SN: Joe Bullard, your time has come and gone. If you have to resort to such bullshit to get call-ins, then its time to fuckin hang em up...Stepping off my soapbox now).
Now, I know alot of these kids today claim they have the best of everything including technological advances to entertainment choices. But one thing they sorely lack in is REAL music.
In honor of the NFL Playoffs, we are gonna tackle this one "Tale of the Tape" style. For those unfamiliar with that format, we will list the combatants head to head in several categories and see who comes out on top. We will seperate the new school/ old school by anything prior to 1998 belongs to the old school and 1999 or later is new school( yes, its my blog so I make the fuckin rules...DEAL WITH EM!)...


TALE OF THE TAPE

Best Rappers of the Generation

Old Skool: Lets see...we can choose from 2PAC, Biggie, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Rakim...I could go on and on..

New Skool: OOH! You guys have Eminem! and Weezy F Baby, please say the Baby...and Luda....and Kanye when he aint acting bipolar...aaaannnnddd, who am I kidding that about sums it up. For the sake of argument I will give you guys Jay-Z even though his 1st album was dropped back in 97-98( again my blog. Those with a problem STFU!!)


EDGE: Old Skool in a landslide. Look, when your most popular rapper of the decade is white and the 2nd in line cannot prove he is speakin verifiable English 67.5% of the time, there is a huge problem.


Best R&B Singers of the Generation

Old Skool: We have Luther Vandross, Whitney Houston(pre-Bobby), Anita Baker, Usher, R Kelly( pre-pissing free-for-all), Mary J Blige, Faith Evans, Maxwell

New Skool: Beyonce(LMAO at the mere thought some of you actually consider this broad an actually good singer. Dont hurt me Zina),Alicia Keys, Trey Songz, Musiq, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu

EDGE: In a much closer than anticipated vote, all bias aside, I am gonna have to give this one to OLD SKOOL but it was tough, due to some ultra talented ladies swinging the vote in the new skool's direction. Neo-Soul was invented during this time frame so I cannot belittle the new skool for their efforts. But seriously, do some of you ladies really think Tre Songz is the answer to R&B's search for a leading man? WTF?!


Best Group/Click/Posse Rap and R&B

Old Skool: EPMD, Bad Boy Family, NWA, 2 Live Crew, No Limit Soldiers, Kid N Play, Exscape, Total, Boyz II Men, TLC, 112, Bell Biv Devoe.....

New Skool: Destiny's Child, G-Unit, Cash Money Boys, Ruff Ryders, Danity Kane..ok Im gonna stop right there because unless I am having a serious mental freeze New Skool cannot even begin to compete in this one...

EDGE: OLD SKOOL

Some of you may think my views are slanted(rightfully so) but it was clear then as it is now, that Old Skool is where its at...dont believe me?



Feel free to leave me your thoughts....

Resolutionists: Gotta Hate Em....

.....At the gym, they have been running amuck,searching for training tips and advice...at school, they are your newfound(or at least it SEEMS that way) classmates who claim they are on a mission for straight A's...at church, they are the reformed Supa-Heads and Try-sexuals (hoe will try anything !)signing up to join the Usher board and choir, cuz at "Watchnight Service" they took the Altar Call...at work, at the gym, hell, even at the club( "I promise yall, I aint going home with him unless he buy me 2, COUNT 'Em 2, Top-shelf dranks!!")one cannot escape the annual run of the RESOLUTIONISTS!

Before I give you my TOP 4 Resolutionist List, we first must DEFINE RESOLUTIONIST. Websters' describes a Resolutionist as( no, Webster doesn't. But this is the damn definition anyway so pay attention...) : a person, who foolishly attempts to make drastic changes come January 1st of any given year, only to fail miserably and give up 30-60 days later....know anyone who fits that description??? LMAO, look I'm not saying its NOT good to set goals for one-self, but does saying you are going to stop drinking and swearing HAVE to start on NEW YEAR's DAY??! Be realistic in your goals and you may just actually attain some of em. A good friend(hear is your shot-out Young Foreman) said it best: There is no reset button on our life. You can't just wake-up one morning and hope to wash away all the foul shit you have been doing for the past 365 days...

TOP 4 WORST NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONISTS

4.The Reformed Hoe--Look, I'm all for turning your life around and trying to walk the enlightened path, but if you keep a dick in your mouth,more than you do a stick a gum---then let's be realistic. You aint changing. These are just the facts people...

+ ≠


3.The Ever-optimistic Baby Moms---- this is a sad one indeed. Look, Ray-Ray, is almost 10. You haven't received your support check since he was NEVER. You and Ray Sr aint been seen together outside of your bedroom since 2000....sigh...say it with me: NO, you aren't gonna magically start receiving those payments. NO, Ray Sr doesnt love you, he just said that because you started talkin about putting him on papers again. And Finally, NO, telling him Ray-Ray would love for nothing more than to see his parents together is not gonna work this time--in fact, it didn't work in 2002, 2004, or 2007 when you tried it previously....sigh....SMDH...




2. The Hardly-working Co-Worker---this one pisses me off the most. This is the co-worker who hardly does shit to begin with, who because its January 1st, decides they are gonna work extra hard at annoying you by-you guessed it- complaining about ALL the work they do and demanding better pay/benefits. There is at least one in every office.



....and finally, my #1 New Year's Resolutionist is:

1. The New Gym Rat---this is the person who decides because they USED to be fit or in shape 20 years ago, they decided they were gonna join the gym and magically get back into shape. These are the folks you wanna drop the barbell on when they ask for a squat or the ones who have all the fitness equipment tied up at your usual workout time. Im all for working it out, but drinking a diet pepsi and reading the new Essence mag while walking 2 mph on the treadmill does not constitute a workout plan...of course, there are also idiot ass trainers walking around like this...

An Open Letter to Coaches and Parents

**Editor' Note: I wrote this anonymous(lmao) letter to my son's football coach after our atrocious season ended 1-5, and he scored all the touchdowns for his team. for his efforts? The same trophy all the other shitty kids got...





Who do YOU think the actual star was???


Dear Coaches and Parents:

Friends...Romans...Countrymen! Lend me your ears. The era of celebrating mediocrity and WORSE for our kids must end! After sitting thru a 1-5 youth football season, I can no longer be silent. Coaches and parents, it is time we face fact and realize that not all our kids are destined to be the next Herschel,Bo,Emmitt, Usain or Carl, Kobe or Jordan! Goddamit some of em are just simply destined to be Otis or Raheem!

Now, I didn't write this letter to impugn or expose anyone. Shit, your child's piss poor play over the last 6 weeks was more than enough for the other parents to see your kid fucking sucks on their own. No, I write this letter today so that some of you parents can finally have to courage to tell lil Malik its ok if you never get into the game; you suck at basketball BUT your a ggrrreeaatt cheerleader!

Some of you will say, "well we give kids trophies to reward their hardwork and seeing it thru to the end, no matter the end result"....BULLSHIT! I think the great Herm Edwards said it best: You PLAY to WIN the GAME ! Its just that simple. If you wanna give losers or benchwarmers something to show appreciation, a damn Certificate of Completion will do! Thats all they actually did: they hung around long enough to complete the season... On second thought, they actually made your jobs tougher coaches, because you were probably forced to play their non-talented asses due to some asinine rule to begin with. They are the reason you lose games. The parents of those sorry bastards should be given YOU a trophy!

My solution to this problem is really quite simple. All youth sports should adopt the policy of youth/AAU track: you either place 1st,2nd or 3rd, or too bad-try again next time...Wow, what a novel concept! Why should the the team MVP, the guy who scored all 7 of your team's touchdowns, have the same size trophy as the kid who GAVE UP 7 TDS...in one game?!?! I'm not saying the kid go home empty handed, but that fuckin certificate in his hand next to Aaron's MVP trophy will make his lil ass think twice about getting beat deep- I bet you that !

Parents and coaches, in closing, I hope you will consider my ideas to revolutionize youth sports. Kids that don't earn shit, should get shit!


Sincerely,

A Concerned Parent


Do these niccas LOOK like they deserve a ring?!

Spreading Faster than H1N1

Shades in the club? = Certified FUCK BOY


We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog so that I may speak on a subject I unfortunately know far too much about: FUCK NIGGAS....Come on folks ! We all know one, or two, or a dozen of em! Whether you call em fuck-boy, chumps, suckas, or douches, they all boil down to the same characteristics.

Urban Dictionary has the most succint definition I have found: a person who think they are the shit or just simply better than what they really are....couldn't have said it better myself. But see, the problems some of you, especially my ladies out there,is you don't know HOW to spot a "fuck nigga".Fuck nigga-ness does not have any age restriction. IT does not target a specific race or population of people. In fact, it does not even target a specific sex over the other. THATS RIGHT LADIES! YOUR HOMEGIRL COULD BE A FUCK NIGGA TOO! Oh yes, the "fuck nigga" can be a cunning beast indeed!

So, with a major assist by my homeboy Wendell, here are tell-tell signs that you have a fuck nigga amongst your midst...

1. If you can sit thru an entire movie like Rosewood, Glory, or Roots without wanting to take to the streets and go Nat Turner or Catcher Freeman on a bitch, then you probably a "fuck nigga"....

2.If your motto is: It Aint Trickin if you Got it, you probably a "fuck nigga"...now I know some of you ladies may disagree with this one but lets speak on that for a minute, shall we? If the only reason why you with dude in the 1st place is because he buys you nice shit, but you can't stand to be around his ass otherwise, well guess what?! That qualifies you as "AINT SHIT" and instantly puts you in "fuck nigga" category too....Do NOT pass go!! Do NOT collect $200. Moving along....

3.If you race home after work, NOT to start dinner or check your kids homework, but instead to catch BET's 106 and Park, then you probably a "fuck nigga" ( see ladies, I didnt forget about some of you!) ....

4. If you catch up on the daily news events at Bossip, Sandra Rose, Necole Bitchie and MediaTakeOut instead of CNN, or your local news, you guessed it! You probably a "fuck nigga"...

5.Fellas, if you care more about what YOU are wearing that paying that 9-month in arrears, $100/month child support payment, you are DEFINITELY a "fuck nigga"...

6. If your registered as a black republican than your probably--no fuck that! Go hang yourself, because there is no hope for you! You'll die as a part of the "Fuck Nigga Hall of Fame" ...

7. If you call all your homeys over the weekend and everyone always seems to be busy or got shit to do that doesn't include you, yep, your a "fuck nigga"...

8. If you constantly fighting your kids for their Lil Boosie, Souljah Boy, Drake and Young Money CD because yall have the SAME musical taste, then you are probably a " fuck nigga"...

9. FELLAS: if you ever type LOL :), even to your GIRL, you are and always will be a "fuck nigga"...and probably a little gay...which leads me to my last "fuck-nigga" characteristic.

10. If you own or have ever THOUGHT about rocking a pair of skinny jeans, then you my friend, are a "fuck nigga"!


Please feel free to leave me your list in the comment section below....

11. And one bonus one: Fellas if you purchased a Trey Songz album, not for your girl, but you instead, ...you guessed it....shaking my damn head....

Pimpin Ain't Easy, But It Sho is Good for the Economy !

Let me start by saying I am sure The Chicago Sun-Times has better things to debate, but this article plucked from there website is puuurrre comedy( Thanks Wendell).The authors of a new-book, titled Super-Freakonomics, has created some buzz for themselves by making a very comical claim: that a pimp's services are more valuable than a real estate agent....

Have you gotten your laughter under control, because I promise the story gets funnier!

The authors, University of Chicago "rogue economist" Steven D. Levitt and journalist Stephen J. Dubner,in arriving at their conclusion that a pimp provides more value than a real estate agent, they analyzed two completely unrelated studies.

The first study used data compiled by a former University of Chicago sociologist, found that prostitutes working solo in Chicago's West Pullman and Roseland neighborhoods earn $325 a week while performing an average of 7.8 tricks, while prostitutes with a pimp working the same area earn $410 a week while doing only 6.2 tricks. In addition, a prostitute who works with a pimp is "less likely to be beaten up by a customer or forced into giving freebies to gang members," the book states.

Even after paying a 25 percent commission, the authors conclude, prostitutes with a pimp "come out ahead on just about every front."

.....WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PROVING THEIR POINT?! Nothing thats what,lol ....wait there is more....

They contrast this with a study out of Madison, Wis., that concluded that houses sold by owners over the Internet fetched about the same price as those sold by real estate agents.

Why even compare pimps to real estate agents?

"A Realtor and a pimp perform the same primary service: marketing your product to potential customers," Levitt and Dubner explain.

Brushing off the fact that real estate agents actually do the sales work for the property owner, the authors conclude that "once you consider the value you get for each of these two agents, it seems clear that a pimp's services are considerably more valuable than a Realtor's."

The fact that a writer actually wasted his time interviewing these two is not the kicker for me; this fool actually had to go and seek insight from one of Chi-town's legends: former pimp turned preacher, Bishop Magic Don Juan.

The Bishop, who honed his craft on the West Side before turning to the Lord, moved 10 years ago to Hollywood, where he now practices his own unique form of ministry among the hip-hop stars(read fuckin idiots with money) -- Snoop Dogg being his most devoted disciple.

So what does the Bishop think about the superfreaky hypothesis advanced by the SuperFreakonomics guys: that a pimp provides more value than a real estate agent?

"That is a true statement," he said enthusiastically.

"Pimps are the best thing for the economy," he continued, not quite tracking with their concept. "Ask any retailer in the world. Don't nobody spend money like a pimp."

There you have it folks. Proof that an education don't mean SHIT in the wrong hands...SMH @ these 2 authors...

http://www.amazon.com/SuperFreakonomics-Cooling-Patriotic-Prostitutes-Insurance/dp/0060889578/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256847464&sr=8-2

**Update: Thank god I discovered these 2 fools are white,lol !

Leggings Aint for Every-BODY

Not even J-Hud can get a pass....

Ladies, I hope you didn't think I wasn't gonna address this, did you? Well after FAMU's homecoming this year, the issue can no longer be ignored...

We've all seen it. At some point on campus or around town,you have encountered the big girl who believes that her skin-tight leggings are a completely legitimate form of pants. I don't know who told her that a thin piece of nylon would suffice, but they were fucking wrong. I'm sure there are guys out there is saying, "What is so wrong with girls wearing skin-tight clothing?" Well, gentlemen, you will find out. And ladies, I just hope you read this article before you commit a fashion mistake.

First off, camel toe is not a good look for EVERYONE!I can already hear the big-squad hollering: "But I don't have a camel toe when I wear leggings!" Yes. You do. Unless you pick at your crotch every five minutes (which, for your information, is repugnant if you don't have a ball sack to adjust), at some point your sad excuse for an article of clothing worked its way into a frontal wedgie. Don't argue. You could have the wordl's best personality,and volunteer weekly to feed the homeless but guess what:the IDEA of your camel toe would still be repulsive.

Second, leggings are not smoothing your cellulite. It's okay.No one's perfect. But choosing clothing, such as jeans, that don't emphasize the bumps in your ass/thighs brings you closer to the ultimate goal of attractiveness. I cannot count the amount of times I've been stuck behind a biggums wearing leggings on a sidewalk and had no choice but to stare at her cellulite until I have a chance to pass her. And all you ladies that look in the mirror to detect such imperfections are missing one thing: you are stationary in front of a mirror. What about when your muscles flex and contract as you walk? Yeah, that's right; go check your mirror again.

The only thing that can help these legs are a lifetime of exercise, a decade of lyposuction, or a day of amputation. Leggings do not, I REPEAT, do not suck in fat!If you weighed 300 pounds before you put on your leggings, trust me, you still look like you weigh 300 pounds! I realize they're tight, but no amount of man-made material will make anything over the amount of two pounds of fat disappear. Shocking, I know. Not only do they not slim your legs and ass down, but they also actually contribute to one of the most revolting features of the human body: muffin tops.

"They're so warm and comfortable!"

As for comfort, there is a thin line where a certain amount of ugly is accepted to accommodate comfort. Across that line, comfort goes out the window because something is just so retarded that we will give up our own luxury to prevent being seen with it on. Leggings fit into the latter category. If you're so worried about your comfort, buy some sweatpants. Super comfy. No camel toes. No cellulite. No protruding fat.

The moral to the story is that there are thousands of 10-year-old children slaving away in Malaysian sweatshops sewing pants for you to wear. Don't let their 20-hour days pass in vain. Buy jeans. Put on sweatpants. Wear your cargo shorts. And most importantly, stop wearing leggings all by their lonesome. Actually, while you're at it, just stop wearing skirts too.


THIS HAS BEEN AN AREYOUFAREAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUCEMENT.....